Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

A Trip of a Lifetime

Posted on: September 25th, 2023 by Luisa No Comments

Hello Gang,

I had the trip of a lifetime in Europe. For a long time, I have felt anxious about change. The thought of being somewhere unknown filled me with dread and stress. A primary need we all have is to feel safe and secure. Something had to change. But I hate change. So my core needs were stuck on a glitch and by being in overdrive, I was consumed with feelings of stagnation and frustration. I had done everything right, everything I was supposed to, I just felt Bitter. 

Cue new Edinburgh show!*

So at the beginning of the year I made 3 promises to myself. 3 wild cards to try. To create some momentum rather than standing still. 

The first was to record and Release God is a Woman, TICK done, I have loved the response. (You can stream it now – link on the homepage)

2nd. Was to book the Edinburgh fringe festival but to do it on the down low, to go and have fun with two new ideas. Experiment with a stand up show and a musical idea.

And the 3rd was too book some shows in Europe and go on a European Road trip!

So I packed up my car and Bernie and off we went! When I tell you, I had the time of my life! I LOVED it! 

SO here are some highlights I would love to share for anyone thinking about going away traveling on their own.


  1. Just do it. Don’t wait for a friend or a partner, just do it. 
  2. Book the first few days/ weeks first and then once you have grown in confidence, go with the flow.
  3. Yes it will be terrifying. And there will be moments of meltdowns and what the fuckery. BUT I think this helps us grow. We train ourselves, that even when we don’t know what’s happening, we will be okay! I think this is a life lesson that has to happen in practice.
  4. There is nothing more grounding than being in another country, consuming another culture and feeling like an absolute idiot. It’s good for you.
  5. You WILL meet incredible people. Its amazing how at home, i would seldom go to a museum or gallery but abroad, i wanted to do all the stereotypical things. Do them. You recognise we are all the same, we all have the same wants and needs, we all care about the same things. And when you look at artifacts from thousands of years ago, right up to the present day, it all makes sense. We immortalize in art who we love, what we love and how we lived. 
  6. I travelled with Bernie and for me, she was the best companion. If you are travelling with a dog, do triple check when they say dog friendly. That they mean ALL dogs, not just the little rat ones. I had driven for 3 hours for a hotel in Brussels, only for them to clarify they are only dog friendly for dogs under 15kg, Thats a cat.
  7. Having Bernie meant I actually had better living standards than I had I travelled alone. I needed an outside space, ground floor or a lift and air con. ALWAYS BOOK AIRCON. 
  8. Eat and eat some more. You are walking a lot more and mate, enjoy the food.
  9. THE FOOD!! Oh my goodness, I had some of the best meals of my life, Poland is underrated. Genuinely the best food. I have gourmet, michelin star restaurants for a fraction of the price you would pay in the U.K.
  10. Don’t mistake traveling solo for an excuse to stay at home on your own. Get dressed up, take yourself on a date night, do go exploring, dancing, drinking. Be safe, know where you are stayin but do go and explore. 
  11. Google pin point on maps is your friend. Wherever you start, Pin it!!
  12. People will seem rude, and will seem abrupt, learn to laugh it off. Its just a culture difference and let them get on with it. Do not take it personally.

The main things I came away from Europe with are, 1. I love Bernie more than ever, what a legend. 2. I am so proud of myself, i regulated my nervous system, I challenged myself, i made shit happen and I am okay. 3. Why the fuck am i living in Birmingham when there are places in Switzerland where you can sit by a crystal blue river or stream and LITERALLY DRINK THE WATER, whilst looking up at snow top mountains as you bathe in a bikini because its 30degree sun. Mate. UNREAL

So Here is where I Highly recommend you visit. 

Poznan Poland – Beautiful, in fact anywhere in Poland but especially Poznan, Krakow, Wroclaw, Gdansk. And eat. Eat out all the time, EAT ALL THE FOOD.

Switzerland. Basel and Bern!! Yes there is Zurich, but theres places are stunning! Naked sunbathing gardens for women only?! YES PLEASE

ANTWERP oh my god, for shopping, the boutiques were UNREAL


Henschotermeer Lake in the Netherlands. Like a mini tropical island. 


Top tips. Go basic and go boujee, I slept in the car and I stayed in a presidential suite! My favorite accommodation though? Without doubt had to be the campsites. ON ground level, with air con, in an area of natural beauty and you can park right next to your base.   OH THE LUXURY yes, campsites are the way forward and now I want to be a granny and buy a caravan 



Six. A poem about love and grief. Written by me.

Posted on: July 14th, 2023 by Luisa No Comments
My Babcia loved watching darts,
She was my Sun.
When she died.
I would feel her peak out of the trees,
through gaps between the branches
and with Bullseye precision
beam down on my sad lil face.
This is different.
It’s not like when I tell myself I will work out tomorrow,
it’s just one more doughnut.
Or it’s definitely true love, he’s just not honest with his heart yet.
It’s not that kind of a lie.
I daren’t even toy with the idea that you might still be here.
Just on holiday somewhere or in the garden.
There is no joy in this kinda play.
It is what it is.
She’s dead, She’s dead, She’s dead.
Clear cut. Dead end. No chance. Not even a smidge.
You said. If She is the Sun
Then I will be the Moon.
And here I am on Planet Earth,
Head no longer in the clouds.
The void in my bones tethers me to the ground.
But my feet dance again now.
I am happy. I laugh,
I love and share and allow.
The price is a little bitter sweetness
as I can’t tell you about it.
But it’s sooo much better then it was before
Lately my days have been filled with magic & joy
Something in the air. Finally
and yet I wake up screaming.
Guilty. And then annoyed.
She would never want that.
Well she’s dead she’s dead she’s dead.
Tether me to the ground.
In tears, I’ll plod into a shop
and a woman will say.
Hey I have these for you.
And will hand me a bouquet of flowers.
I’ll sit in a room feeling overwhelmed.
What to do. What would you do?
Go out in the open air.
And as I turn a corner
A mother will walk past with a t shirt that
says “Love yourself”
I pack up my things and head to Europe on
a whim.
I’ll head to your land because I should
I’m not expecting much.
But then every light turns green.
Every beauty treatment is the best one I’ve
ever had.
Every dress I try on is my favourite and in
the sale.
A handbag I just had to have, had my name, spelt correctly, sewed on the inside.
Every plate of food tastes like it was tailor made for my tongue.
Every overheard conversation calms my nervous system.
I could listen to the locals talk for hours.
I don’t need to understand.
I would recognise it anywhere.
The language,
like the melody of my favourite song.
And I realise how much I love being home.
It’s all a coincidence.
Critics will say.
And they are probably right.
But then I fall asleep
In a strangers apartment
On the 4th floor of an old pre war estate.
A cheap one but its central and it has air con.
And as I’m sleeping on my side.
With my beautiful cool doggy outstretched
on the floor.
I awaken calmly.
And right in my eyeline.
Without needing to lift my head
A full, fertile and majestic moon.
Beaming at me.
And my sad lil face is overwhelmed with joy.
If maybe, for a moment
I could be naive.
How wonderful would that be?
To untether myself and consider.
Albeit briefly.
Because this love is so loud in the tiny gestures.
And that’s got your name written all over it.
If maybe the signs, from strangers,
from places
from animals
and from things
were a letter from you
Would that be okay?
I hope so.
Because. If it is.
I love you and miss you too.


Posted on: April 3rd, 2023 by Luisa No Comments

Hey gang,

Have decided I’d like to go on a little adventure. My Polish passport came through so am heading towards the motherland. but whilst doing so, I will be travelling across Europe and dropping into some comedy clubs. Do a few shows. Drive on the wrong side of the road, drink coffee in a city square eating pastries. Have the sun on my face and pray my humour translates to the good people of Europe!

I hope to meet many of you!


Luisa xx

Takes a Village Campaign

Posted on: March 21st, 2023 by Luisa No Comments

GANG I am so excited! After another pass from a streamer i thought fuck it, my show needs to be out there. So have hired a venue, organised a crew and getting ready to film my special. God is a Woman!

Here is the ‘Takes a Village” Campaign

Luisa Omielan is going to film her stand up special God is a Woman. And she needs YOUR help.

Who is God? Don’t worry, Luisa will tell you all about her.


Luisa Omielan started speaking to an audience who were never found in comedy clubs over ten years ago. She has undeniably contributed to the UK comedy landscape and created an inclusive environment for girls, gays and everyone in-between. Luisa invigorates festival audiences in the same way Daniel Sloss, Hannah Gadsby and Fleabag did, with her critically acclaimed, genre defining work. 

Luisa has spent her whole career focusing on her live voice. People still ask to see ‘What Would Beyonce Do?!’ and ‘Am I Right Ladies?!’ They are timeless. Politics For Bitches was the highest reviewed show of the Soho Theatre specials on Amazon Prime…

Of Polish descent, Luisa was the first comedian to be recognised with a BAFTA Breakthrough Award for stand up. Despite this, she has never been able to get her show streamed on an international streaming platform. 

Everything is more expensive now and companies are more hesitant to invest in anything unless it’s a sure thing. How do we prove to them this is a sure thing?! 

It’s time to stop waiting for someone to give us the green light and validate our own voices. Show them we have the people power and the audiences, as always, are ahead of the curve. So let’s do the big thing and make it happen together. 

From Luisa

I feel like because I am still broke in comparison to the greats (comics) (rich in dog mate) I can do stand up that’s real, raw and relevant to what I see and experience happening in my world. The tricky part is how many people can see it. I really care about my stand up, it’s imperative to me, my shows are on the money, inclusive, intelligent and hilarious as f. I’m bored of seeing Meghan Markle tropes and anti abortion narratives. My shows aren’t just ahead of their time, they are on it. I know it could help so many people and be an antidote to what’s out there. 

Specials are expensive to film, to give you an idea, I know of ones that have been made in the U.K. costing anything from £25k – £500k. The plan is to film the show, edit it and get it uploaded on my website and available for streaming. People can pay to download it. If you can’t donate, the show will be made free on Youtube at a later date. 

Now like my bottom and my heart, my dreams are massive. And like my boobies my budget is small but perfect for the job. We are currently working with the budget which will be supported with pre orders, ticket sales and YOU!

I don’t expect people to donate. I know it’s been a tough time for everyone. If you can pre order, please do. If you cannot afford to donate, I don’t want you to. What I want and I would love your help with is much more valuable. And that is your skillset, your networks and your support. I want to help build a community that can make this show happen. 


About the Show

This beautiful stand up show is a new take on questions as old as time. What is life and how do we navigate through it? It’s a love letter to the world, featuring a woman’s best friend. 

This show unpicks religion’s contribution to the suppression of women’s autonomy. It offers a hilarious alternative perspective on women in scripture. It breaks down everything you thought you knew about Mary Magdalene, the original Slut Shamed woman. And features the most beautiful story of friendship between a grieving depressed white ex catholic comedian and a Muslim-Pakistani painter decorator. 

The Visuals

The visual for this special is unique, we want the audience at home to feel totally immersed. Capitalizing on the ancient art of storytelling and preaching, we want to record this show in an intimate setting embodying nature and femininity that’s immediately associated with community. I have found the perfect venue in the Oran Mor, Glasgow. Glasgow is a very special city to me, having shown me immense generosity and kindness. I am so glad I get to do it here. It’s really important to me to hire and utilise local talent as much as possible. 

The Challenges – Can you help me with the following? 

I have less than 4 weeks to try and fill a venue. I need contacts for (all paid)

A Florist – can be Fake

Candles – I need ALL THE CANDLES (LED)

A Hair Stylist

A Make up Artist

An Outfit – (thinking Wedding Boutique vibes lol)

A Groom for Bernie. (as in a wash not related to above)

A Stage Manager / Script supervisor 

Most importantly, A FULL HOUSE!!



Here is what I have been able to lock in so far:

The Venue

The Lighting Rig

The Audio

The Film Crew

An Editor

Two assistants! (Hi Kelly & Harry)

The Previews


Don’t despair, if you are not local to Glasgow and are based in London or Bristol, come along to my warm up shows. They are minimal entry, with a bucket donation at the end. All cash will go directly to funding this project. 

Valentines Party 2023

Posted on: March 5th, 2023 by Luisa No Comments

Oh Manchester!!! You did not disappoint! I had the most wonderful weekend.

So Let’s start at the beginning, when I tell you the stress that goes in to these Valentines Parties. Every year it is my fav night and every year I panic, trying to get everything organised and pay for everything up front and hope and pray that people, A. Buy tickets so I can cover these costs and B. Have the night of their life!!

Manchester was a gamble, I have never taken my Valentines party anywhere outside of London. (bar the one time we did it from my living room in Birmingham during Lockdown)

I hired the space and these guys were PHENOMENAL. The whole team at the BEC took such great care of my and my friends. Pas caught the train up and Kelly brought a friend down from Glasgow. We arrived at midday and spent the whole day decorating and blowing up balloons.


I was super worried as I had only just broken even and its so much work to go into an event , during a cost of living crisis. Where you don’t want to over spend but you also cannot afford to. equally you don’t want the venue to look like shit. It’s a lot of work that goes in way before you even get to perform the actual show.

But it was incredible, the show went amazing, the DJ was killer. The after party was epic. AND my fans sold me out of merch!!! SO i got to make some money too.


I LOVED it!! Thank you Manchester. I don’t know if and when I will do any again, the night before I was pretty adamant this would be my last one, but the morning after, I’m always like “Bring on next year!

We will see what life has planned xx“

Happy New Year.

Posted on: January 12th, 2023 by Luisa No Comments

Hello. Wishing you a very happy 2023! I don’t know about you but man, I am so happy 2022 is over! That was a stretch! So here is what is happening in 2023. I am going to film and release God is a Woman. I am doing more behind the scenes stuff over on my Patreon, come join me. 
Am also going to try and nail this TikTok thing. It’s a new world. But comedy is one of the oldest forms of entertainment. So if you can’t beat em! I will be hosting weekly live streams on there, having a chat with you! Come find me on Tiktok and Patreon for all the latest goings on. 
I am preparing for my Valentines Party. This year I decided to hold it in Manchester. It’s a risk, have had to hire a dry venue. Hire a whole stage and production. I hope it pays off. It’s my stand up show followed by an after party. For many years I had nowhere to go on Valentines, and neither did my Bestie. So we went out together every year and just had a laugh and some drinks and a good time. Then when I started doing solo shows, people always ended up on their feet. People wanted to go out dancing after. So 10 years ago I started doing my Valentines Party. My stand up show followed by an after party of epic proportions. R&B, Hip Hop and Power Ballads. Each year was themed and each had a tuck shop. Every year, you lot would say to me “please do it outside of London, please!!”
So this year that is what I am trying. Manchester. for the final show of the tour. The goal is, if I can get enough support behind it, to film & release this show. At the moment, it’s just trying to break even. But we getting there. I’m hopeful.Call your girls, call your gays, call your besties. Book now for the ultimate night out
Luisa Omielans Valentines Party
I hope it works and people go mad for it. I’m feeling pretty hopeful. I will keep you posted! I hope this year is good and kind to you. I look forward to seeing what we do together. 
Luisa x

Enough is Enough Speech

Posted on: October 17th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

Hello my loves. I love this campaign, they want to tackle the cost of living crisis with 5 basic things. 

1. A Real Pay Rise.
2. Slash Energy Bills.
3. End Food Poverty.
4. Decent Homes for All.
5. Tax the Rich. I recently did a speech at the Birmingham Rally. They have rallies up and down the country. I would check them out!

Here are some of my thoughts on Politics right now.



TikTok Show with Soho Theatre!!

Posted on: August 19th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments
** I am so excited!!! I am doing my first ever Tik Tok Live Stream show!
Soho Theatre are partnering with TikTok to bring a new, exclusive live streaming event to a global audience direct from their Upstairs – if you’re in London then you can join us in the studio, if you’re anywhere else in the world then join us on TikTok.

I have been asked to be the very first Guinea Pig and i could not be more delighted! It's a one-off performance, mixing brand-new material with some of her best bits from 10 years of acclaimed shows.

Don't worry Ten Audiences, it's gonna be a mixture and different material so join me in everything!


To book to be in the recording room, you can do so here. 

The show will be at the forefront of TikTok’s developing Exclusive Events, so no matter where you join us from, you’ll be getting in early. Get in.

Please note: The performance will be live streamed on TikTok and audience members may feature.
As for my Live TEN show, the immediate next dates are
Bristol I will see you on Aug 27th 
Belfast September 24th 
and Newcastle 21st October 

Cannot wait!!

Big Love and thank you for your support as always

Luisa xx

Haven’t been to a show before?

Posted on: July 2nd, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

Here is a Trailer for my Best of ‘Ten’ tour!



Gaslit, Groomed and Ghosted!! ON BBC SOUNDS

Posted on: May 19th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

My Radio 4 series is out now! Episode one focuses on Emma Goldman, you can check it out here:


Posted on: May 11th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

Thank you so much to every one of you who had watched, shared and commented on the Amazon show. The reviews are gorgeous, here are just a few. Please watch the show and share it, I want it to go wild around the U.K!


My Amazon Special is Out now!!

Posted on: May 5th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments


Politics For Bitches as part of Soho Theatre on Demand, streaming now on Amazon Prime U.K. Soho Theatre Season 3. It’s Episode 8 and you can watch it on Amazon Prime now and tell everyone about it!

Radio 4 recording

Posted on: April 27th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments
People of Birmingham! I am recording my radio 4 series on Monday 9th May. Tickets are free but limited. Sign up here. It’s called Gaslit, Groomed & Ghosted – New terminology for the oldest tricks in the book. Man I’m good at show titles. They should pay me for this shi*. Hope to see some of you there xx
Click Here for Night of Dreams (Tickets)

Save the Date! May 6th

Posted on: April 7th, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

Politics For Bitches will be streaming on Amazon Prime UK. Thank you so much to Soho Theatre for making this happen. It was the perfect time to re write this show and I’m very grateful to have the opportunity to do it and record it. I hope you guys love it! I have wanted to have my shows on a streaming platform FOR EVER, the team at Soho were an absolute DREAM! I am so so excited for you to see it! May 6th! #SohoTheatreLive #PoliticsForBitches2022

Soho Theatre Special

Posted on: January 31st, 2022 by Luisa No Comments

Hey team,

Happy New Year! How was your Christmas? I hope you guys got to finally spend time and see your loved ones. I got a call from Soho Theatre in December to film one of my shows in January. So two weeks ago i filmed an updated 2022 version of Politics For Bitches! I can’t wait for you to see it. I hope you love it.

A cosmo with Bernie.


Posted on: October 26th, 2021 by Luisa No Comments

Oh Hi guys!


I have recorded a podcast and am actually really enjoying it! It’s a little experimental, its called Notes on Tour, it’s made up of a collection of voice notes from the 24 hours before, during and after the shows.

They are short little episodes, i would love you to have a listen. Available wherever you get your podcasts from!

Apple, Spotify, Amazon etc


Luisa xx


Posted on: October 26th, 2021 by Luisa No Comments

I am having such a ball on tour, it is sooo gorgeous to be out with audiences again. I have missed you. I have 14 shows left, if you are still debating whether or not to come, do know that venues are clean, super clean and doing everything they can to keep us all safe! Here are just some of the comments from people who have seen the show! Hope to see you there! Luisa xx




Step into your beautiful Power Baby! A gigantic 39!

Posted on: September 8th, 2021 by Luisa No Comments

Hello my loves we are in Virgo Season! I am 39! Its officially the last year of my thirties. I have had such a wonderful day! It’s been lovely.

Too many souls have left us early, It makes me wanna shake myself sometimes and just recognise the gift that it is, to be here. Life is too short. So this is the energy I am taking moving forward, stepping into my power. I want to see you step into yours. Every day is a gift and we should celebrate it.

I am very excited to be kicking off my tour at the end of the month! Soho Theatre have kindly given me some warm up dates, its my stand up show God is a Woman. Its a love letter to the divine feminine, to My Mum, to you. It’s a beautiful comedy show. It’s funny, uplifting and hopefully kind! I want you to leave feeling happy and inspired. The dates are Sep 21, 22, 24 and 25. Would love you to come along! Ticket link is here!


Going Rate to Die Nicely

Posted on: July 15th, 2021 by Luisa No Comments

Grief is the price we pay for love and it’s incredibly expensive but worth every moment. But if love was a building, a hospice would be it. I think that’s worth paying into.

Hello my loves,

I wrote a piece about the importance of hospice care and the need to invest in palliative care services.

The article is here. if you find it relevant or helpful, please share.

Luisa xx

One time…

Posted on: June 5th, 2021 by Jenish Mandalia No Comments

One time I asked a guy if I put hoi sin sauce on his dick, I would happily give him a blow job and he declined.

I have never understood the male sex. Hence I was single up until 37 and a half.

Then I met a man in lockdown, and fell totally head over heels and we had a GREAT romance. Don’t get me wrong, Relationships are hard, with the constant compromise and the kindness and all that sharing, ffs. No wonder people used to marry off when they were 18 because once you get used to ordering a whole crispy aromatic duck for yourself, it takes real strength to start cutting those pancakes down by half.

But luckily for me, I am very strong and luckily for him, he likes hoi sin sauce (blow jobs – he likes blow jobs. From me. I mean, wow. Who would have thought, my very own penis)

In lockdown I have been doing a LOT of DIY, including Herringbone paneling on a feature wall which is way more hassle then its worth. Decking which is half built and a bathroom floor with no tiles but I did work out the self-levelling compound, Speaks for itself really.

I also had puppies, well Bernie did, but you would think it was me for all the hours I put in. Three lil beautiful Bernadoodles, the most wonderful experience, am so lucky to have had the chance. I don’t think I ever would again, but only because it was too hard to give them away. They all now have 3 beautiful homes and are giant lil munchkins. Bernie is very happy to have me back all to herself.

Luisa and puppies

So lockdown ended and sadly so did my romance and hopefully my DIY days. But the taps are running now baby, the water is officially back on! I am ready for LOVE and to hire contractors, as soon as I start working, no more Miss DIY, DIYoudoit!! AM I right!?! Pay someone for what they are good at. Clearly, you can see, my strength is in word play.


Hit me up babe

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